You can find all of my posts on Taylor Swift tracks that resonate with my ADHD in our nes category: ADHD Swifties. I created the category and wrote the posts because I am having a very normal, definitely not deranged, reaction to the end of the Era’s Tour.
Relationships are tricky for anyone, but living with ADHD adds a whole new layer of complexity. For me, they often feel like an endless battlefield where my mind creates conflicts that don’t exist. Taylor Swift’s The Great War resonates deeply with this experience—capturing the overthinking, the unspoken grievances, and the fallout that comes from battling a war my partner never even knew they were fighting.
Tore your banners down, took the battle underground
I’m no stranger to internal battles. With ADHD, even the smallest misunderstanding can snowball into a full-scale war in my mind. Instead of addressing issues head-on, I’ll replay moments endlessly, questioning what someone really meant or analyzing tone and context. By the time I’ve convinced myself there’s an issue, I’ve torn down metaphorical banners of trust and replaced them with walls of doubt—all without ever voicing a single concern.
I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone
In relationships, my instinct is often to retreat. If I feel hurt, I don’t communicate; I isolate. I convince myself that my emotions are too much or that addressing them would only cause trouble. So, I withdraw, stewing in my own thoughts until they become toxic. Like the lyrics, I “drink my poison all alone,” letting resentment fester instead of letting anyone in.
Tellin’ me to punish you for things you never did
ADHD makes it easy to blur the line between what’s real and what’s assumed. I can overanalyze an innocent comment or action to the point where I’m convinced it’s a betrayal. Then, without meaning to, I punish the people I care about for things they never actually did—like withdrawing emotionally, becoming passive-aggressive, or overreacting to unrelated situations. The guilt afterward? It’s unbearable, but by then, the damage is done.
Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed
One of the hardest parts of ADHD in relationships is that sense of being let down—even when the betrayal exists only in my mind. My brain clings to patterns and jumps to conclusions. A late reply to a text or an offhanded comment can feel like rejection, abandonment, or worse. The haze of overthinking clouds my judgment, making it hard to separate feelings from reality.
There’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair
Reflecting on past relationships, I realize how unfair I’ve been—not just to my partners but to myself. The battles I fought were exhausting, and they were often one-sided. The people I loved didn’t even know there was a war. I’ve had to learn (and am still learning) that a relationship doesn’t have to feel like a constant fight. Communication, not overanalysis, is the key to peace.
Finding Peace After the War
The Great War is a reminder for me that while my ADHD might make relationships challenging, it doesn’t make them impossible. Recognizing the tendencies that fuel the battles—overthinking, lack of communication, impulsive assumptions—has helped me take steps toward healthier connections. Now, I try to pause before reacting, communicate openly, and remind myself that not every moment needs to be dissected. It’s a work in progress, but worth it.
Taylor’s lyrics recount her own struggles in relationships, and that resonates with me. The good news? Just like the song, I know there’s hope for reconciliation and healing after the battles are done.
What about you? Do you see yourself in these lyrics? Let me know in the comments or connect with me on Tumblr—I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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